We all need a little bit of humor here and there and this is one is just so funny and leave to the Onion with their satire to give us a laugh. What really even made this funnier was Wendell Potter, healthcare advocate used to have this job at Cigna and tweeted thank goodness I don’t work there anymore:) Why Cigna, who knows as this could represent any health insurance company for sure. I got a kick out of the coding remarks too as how often have we not heard that and we have HHS, hospitals, insurers swapping “spit” if you will with incentives and fines, makes it hard to budget for hospitals for sure.
How many times have we felt this way? Again as I always say, it’s the Attack of the Killer Algorithms we all face today with code and formulas running on servers 24/7 making life impacting decisions about all of us, and the the amount of flawed data is on the rise as well, so be aware. I try to be g rated here so I changed the working but see all of it in it’s glory at the Onion and same for the image below…there’s more to it. BD
CANTON, OH—Overjoyed Cigna executives celebrated the health insurer’s 50 billionth fucking over of a customer Thursday, personally surprising 56-year-old spinal trauma victim Clyde Gershon with champagne, confetti, and hundreds of multicolored balloons as they denied his most recent disability claim.
The wheelchair-bound Gershon, who has required an expensive regimen of pills and physical therapy since a 2010 car crash, was greeted at his front door by cheering, party-hat-wearing members of Cigna’s senior management, who posed for pictures while presenting him with an oversized cardboard “Claim Denied!” letter explaining that he was judged fit to return to work and would lose all coverage at the end of the month.
“So congratulations, Mr. Gershon, you poor son of a bitch,” he continued, raising a flute of Dom Perigno. “On behalf of myself and the rest of our 30,600 employees, I hope you find some other way to pay for your medical care, because you are now royally f**ked!”
Excitement continued to grow throughout the summer as eager employees began refusing claims for procedures the company had previously covered by saying that they “hadn’t been coded right,” which accelerated its march towards 50 billion by an additional 200,000 f**king-overs per day.
Speaking to reporters on Gershon’s front yard, Nicoletti reiterated that despite reaching the long sought-after goal of 50 billion, the company was still as committed as ever to f**king more and more people over.
By the 49,975,000,000 mark, a party atmosphere reportedly began to engulf Cigna’s Bloomfield, CT headquarters. Claims processors would reportedly f**k patients over first by waiting weeks to pay their medical providers, and then by sending them the wrong amount. Gleeful telephone operators f*ked over customers by openly hanging up on the ones who had called to protest being f**ked over.